Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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