I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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