Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
