I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
