I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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