This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
