it was like his penis was on wheels.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
