I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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