he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
