I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
