was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
