She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It's blow job season.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
