I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
