im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
