You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
