We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
