By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
3pm strippers are depressing
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
