that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
