I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
