I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
