I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
