All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I came so hard my ears popped.
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