When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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