He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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