a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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