ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
