Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
