Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Come share oat with me in your robe
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
