I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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