very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
pop tarts are not kleenex
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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