She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
