'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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