I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
