who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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