i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize