Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
