Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
well you can't waste a boner
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
