i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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