I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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