Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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