so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize