we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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