A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
birth control should be required to get into college
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
