I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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