Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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