Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The adults are the big ones right?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
