Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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