Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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