OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You were trust falling into bushes
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
