so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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