Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
