Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
do herpes really smell.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
